JOKES FRESH A couple is in bed and the phone rings, she picks it up and hang up, he asks: Who was it?
To which she responds: My husband ... says there will come a little late because you are going for drinks ...
Dad, Dad, I do the math problem?
- No son, it would be wrong.
- Well, try it anyway.
- Doctor, doctor, I lost my memory ..
- Since when
- Since when, "what?
A man, after insisting a lot like a circus impresario who had covered all the seats, get to accept a demonstration of their numbers. He pulls out a pocket mouse, a small piano and a parrot, the mouse gets to play the piano while the parrot sings opera. - Fantastic!
But hey, among us, this is a trick right?
- Yeah, well, the bird does not sing, is that the mouse is a ventriloquist.
As this is one that looks like a man puts a € 1 coin in a Coke machine and you drop a can. Approaches, puts a coin, drops a can, put another coin drops a can, put a currency ... And so, until one of the guys in the queue that has formed yells: Well! Are you going to leave now or what?
- Leave it? But if I'm winning!
- a guy comes to a stop in a ministry and when asked the name reads:
- Ju-ju-ju-ju-an Lo-lo-lo-fish.
- What? Stutterer.
- No sir. The stuttering was my father. And the civil registry a funny
- Hey, my cat has killed your dog!.
- But you say idiot, if my dog \u200b\u200bis a doberman!.
- Ah, but my cat is hydraulic.
One day Eva walked in Paradise and talking to God, he said: - Sir: The Paradise is wonderful, and the animals and birds cause me joy, but sometimes I still feel alone.
No problem - answer God create a man to keep you company. He'll be happy and want to be with you. But I tell you it will not be perfect: You have difficulty understanding your feelings, if allowed to tend to think only of himself, and come home late after getting drunk with their colleagues in football.
What is football, sir? "Oh" ... do not worry, talk.
Okay, I think I can manage very well with that "man," said Eva.
Ok, I get to it - said God and began to amass some mud. Suddenly he stopped and said to Eve. By the way, another thing about this man that I am creating for you.
- And what is - asked Eva.
You should tell him that he was here first.
A lady walks into a gun shop.
- Hello, good. I wanted a gun for my husband.
- Have you been told that caliber?
- What do you say? If you do not even know that I'll shoot!
Two friends in a bar: -
I swear I do not know what to do to link ...
- But it's very easy, man, look, you see that girl so good there alone at the bar? Well, take note.
And whoever gives them to flirt with the girl goes:
- Watch, girl, pay attention because I think that today could be your lucky day . Come on, tell me a number from 1 to 5.
- Three.
- I knew it! Today was your lucky day dee. Come, come with me to bed.
And leave the two of bar arm in arm. Which are not so lucky in these matters is left speechless, but decided to try his luck with another girl who was in the bar.
- Watch, girl, pay attention because I think today may be your lucky day. Come on, tell me a number from 1 to 5.
- Four.
- Cachis! For one!